{LIFESTYLE} Bad Day…Allowed!

‘Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel one more time?
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Read more: Daniel Powter – Bad Day Lyrics | MetroLyrics

I feel broken…Bad Day Allowed!

It just dawned on me that I’m having a bad day. Maybe it’s a bad week. Heck, I don’t really know what it is. I don’t think I should write this post because it means I’m vulnerable. Vulnerable to the outside world, vulnerable to criticism, vulnerable to judgement. I struggle to find a purpose and meaning in my life. There are things that I just don’t understand. There are things that I wish could change. There are things that I wish would make me whole again. I feel broken.

Being a stay-at-home parent is no fun for me. I feel like I’m wasting my time by not contributing to society. Whatever society that is. I wanted to do such great things. I had such big dreams. But I’ve failed at my pursuit of the happiness that I so desperately thought was guaranteed to me. I feel broken.

I feel like I am stuck in this cycle of life with no way out. You may say that I’m depressed…well maybe I am? You may say that my life is what I made it…well maybe it is? Who really knows and who really has the answers. I keep moving forward, almost zombie like, hoping that there is something better out there for me. I feel broken.

Social media doesn’t help me figure it out. Everything looks so glamorous in the big, bad world. Luxurious clothing, nice houses, lots of friends…. It all looks so grand. Then, I realize…here I sit. I have none of those worldly things. I’m married to an alcoholic. My marriage is in name only. I feel broken.

I weigh way more than I should. The doctor said that I needed to lose 70 pounds. I want to, but can’t. Healthy food is too expensive. Gym membership is too expensive. A personal trainer is way to expensive. I don’t get 5 minutes alone at home. How am I supposed to lose this weight? I don’t want to be fat. I don’t want to fail. I want to look like the people in the magazines and be healthy too. I feel broken.

I started sewing because I wanted to make clothes for my boys since we really couldn’t afford to purchase them. I eased my way back into sewing with simple projects that I learned a long time ago. Then I hit a wall where my creativity faltered. I feel like no matter how hard I try I just can’t get everything together. I feel broken.

Bad Day

Being a stay-at-home mom is rewarding beyond what the present shows! I get to spend more time with my kids than most parents. I was blessed to see every first word, every first step, and first poop in the toilet. I am successful and an asset to society. I’m raising America’s future. I own my own business…actually 3 of them and run a household of 5.

I’m not depressed…I’m having a bad day! I am allowed to feel broken. I am allowed to be a flawed human. I am allowed to not be a perfect parent. I am allowed to be an emotionally driven person. You are too!

Social media is a joke. People purposely only post the greatest moments in their lives. You don’t see the behind the scenes broken plates, mom yelling at kid, marriage on the rocks, etc. You only see what the person wants you to see. Every single person on this planet has had a bad day! Don’t let the fake social media fool you.

I can make all the excuses on the planet about why I can’t get healthy. Until I decide that being healthy is important to me I won’t get there. Excuses are overrated! Just do it, as Nike famously says. I am my biggest hurdle…Move over self!

My kids love the handmade clothing I make for them. So why am I crying about how many outfits I don’t make. The light and joy in their eyes when it’s mama made is way more important than any self doubt. See my kids are important to me and their opinion matters. Self doubt is a lie I tell myself!

So what if I had a bad day! I will overcome it. Society forces us to hide behind a fake wall of secrecy where no one is allowed to show that they are broken in public. One of my favorite movies, Gone with the Wind, illustrates how it is possible to overcome adversity and bad days! There are a million quotes from the movie that lend themselves to the story of a Phoenix. How do you overcome your bad days? How do you rise above?

There’s an important thing to remember about yourself and your life…

Bad Day

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18 thoughts on “{LIFESTYLE} Bad Day…Allowed!

  1. Dear Sweet Denita I am so sorry for your struggles. I am a SAHM also and it really is the only job where the years are short but the days are long. There have been days where I thought it would never be bedtime and there would be no way that I could make it through another day. There have been days when I have sat in the kitchen floor and sobbed because I was sad/alone/frustrated/fed up. But there have been days like this last Tuesday, my oldest was out of school for snow and we piled up under the blankets, watched our favorite movies and giggled the day away.
    I hope that your upcoming days are filled with more giggles than saddness. I also want you to know that you are not alone.

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  2. Everybody has bad days and weeks. Nothing wrong with that! I consider it to be part of the human experience. I probably sew 1/8 of what I plan for my kids each season. It always bugs me because I have fit issues with my daughter and I’m mostly “meh” about boys ready-to-wear. It always feels like such a let down to resort to buying things for them. This year I’m trying to focus more on sewing for the fun of it and making sure my projects could work as daily wear. Instead of trying to fit a specific need we have, like “I need to sew 5 shirts!”.

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  3. I love the dual perspectives here. And so SO needed today. Thank you for this piece 🙂 My concern isn’t so much with social media as my own life and my views on where/how it’s successful and not, BUT, I have definitely come away with food for thought. THANK YOU!

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    • Awesome! I’m glad the post offered some insight. Yes, I agree that it’s hard to change your mind about the definition of success. It’s almost as if the mind is preprogrammed to achieve certain results and when the results aren’t as such, your mind interprets as failure. Thank you for stopping by!

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  4. I’m glad you were able to use your blog as an outlet to get this off your chest. I’ve been there with you and I found that taking the smallest step towards doing something, anything that will make you feel a little bit closer to your usual self helps.

    I wish I had the words to give you about your marriage… all I can offer is a virtual hug. I hope your situation gets better or changes soon.

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    • Thanks Lacey! I was so “afraid” to hit publish, but I’m not the only one! You’re absolutely right! I feel like the elephant is off my back! Thanks for the hug! Hugs are always welcomed!

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  5. Sending love and hugs! Being a SAHM is so hard, especially with days/weeks like this! You are not alone! And You Are Amazing! I started sewing for my kids for the same reason! This last season was so hard because I didn’t have the time, energy, or room between myself and the sewing machine to sit down and make them a repurposed pair of pants that are long enough. Excuses, but they have what I have made them, and they wear them first proud that it’s something I made for them…

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  6. ❤ big hugs. I've been having a rough time lately too…. I know it is winter and the winter SAD…. but still. I feel trapped. I cant even take the kids outside for a walk to get rid of their driving me batty energy because it is too cold. I so wish I had a gorgeous kitchen, and space… but it is what it is. You are gorgeous. handmade clothes are the bomb. and everyone in their fancy pinterest houses … well. good for them. lol

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    • Thank you Jeanine! Yes, the cold weather does not help the trapped feeling. The sun will come out tomorrow and the weather will get warmer. Then the fun will begin. Social media can be a joke sometimes. All the glass houses look so wonderful until you’re living in one of them. You’re right, it is what it is…and good for them!

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  7. Denita, I’m sorry to hear you are feeling down. I saw that you are a believer in Jesus. Do you have a trusted friend from church that you could confide in and be encouraged by? I will pray that you find an encouraging friend.

    I also wanted to say – we are all broken! We live in a sinful broken world. This reminded me of a book I read by Paul David Tripp called “Broken-down House”. He says, “Your Lord is the ultimate Restorer, and he never rests. One day his work will be over and the world will be completely renewed. In the meantime, he calls you and me to live in this broken-down house with hearts of patience and eyes of promise. He calls us away from self-focused survival and to the hard work of restoration. He calls us away from paralyzing discouragement and the nagging desire to quit. He welcomes us to live in the patience and grace that only he can give.” I highly recommend the book if you can find the time to read it. It’s filled with hope and grace for living in a broken world. Praying for you!

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  8. We’re all allowed a bad day. Learn from it and make tomorrow better. YOU ARE LOVED BY MANY. Draw strength from that love and let it lift you when it’s hard to lift yourself.

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